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 Post subject: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:17 am 
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Seriously, your shit is big time fucked

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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 4:06 pm 
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Next time on Hard Science with Joland Turner


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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:56 am 
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Ricky "Turbodick" Stefan sat in his one-bedroom apartment 6PM on a Wednesday. He owned one rocking chair and it sat in the middle of the threadbare room. He faced it such a way so that the jaundiced evening sun would strike it with maximum effect. He hoped he would get a tan, or at the very least, skin cancer.

He had nowhere to go and nothing to do. No one knew he was even alive.

Traffic outside his window beep-beeped and he knew with utter certainty that his shit was well and truly fucked.

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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:08 am 
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+1

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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 10:39 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2018 4:44 am 
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Quote:
Ricky "Turbodick" Stefan sat in his one-bedroom apartment 6PM on a Wednesday. He owned one rocking chair and it sat in the middle of the threadbare room. He faced it such a way so that the jaundiced evening sun would strike it with maximum effect. He hoped he would get a tan, or at the very least, skin cancer.

He had nowhere to go and nothing to do. No one knew he was even alive.

Traffic outside his window beep-beeped and he knew with utter certainty that his shit was well and truly fucked.


Bandwidth "Bandy" Bandowitz knew he'd had too many that evening, but was too injudicious to summon an uber. "If I ride home in an uber, how the fuck will I get my car back in the morning?" he'd told his stunned colleagues at the local Kindergarten, "Fucking idiots."

Suddenly a large truck appeared out of nowhere. Or at least it seemed to in Bandwidth's eyes. In reality he was running a red light.

"Beep beep!" said the truck, but it was too late.

"My shit is well and truly fucked," were Bandwidth's last thoughts.

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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2018 5:13 am 
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Omg






!

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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2018 10:49 pm 
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rip in peace


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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 9:07 am 
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Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Osiris "Superbeef" Sommers looked Perdo in the eyes with resolve. Pedro's clear latino complexion was intimidating, and Osiris clenched his fists, determined to mar it.

"You can't force me"

Pedro and his gang's smirk told him all he needed to know. Since ending up in supermax for the accidental murder and rape of 3 young men, his life had taken an unexpected turn for the worse

"Beep beep, motherfucker", as the prison clown walked in, honking his nose.

Little did he know, his shit was already well and truly fucked.

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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 1:47 pm 
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Top quality

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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 4:49 pm 
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Lol accidental murder and rape.


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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 7:19 pm 
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Basinx wrote:
Lol accidental murder and rape.



Funny shit

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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2018 9:16 am 
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Millions of men had answered Elon Musk's call, but ultimately only one brave pioneer had the genetic chops to begin the colonization of Mars and the creation of a new Master Race.

Basin "X" Basinstein lean back in the Captain's chair of his cockpit, gazing down at the rapidly approaching Red Planet, wondering what future mankind had in store. Behind him, in cyro-stasis, lay twelve of the most immaculate women the Old World had had to offer, each specifically bred to be totally chill and appropriately bi-curious. When at last their space journey was complete, the colonization process would begin and Basin would father a new humanity that was free from the excesses of the Old World.

As he smiled with anticipation, there was a sudden noise. "Beep! Beep! Beep!" went the alarms in the ship. What was this? A proximity alert! His ship was on a direct course with an asteroid! As he struggled in vain to take evasive action, Basin punched up a direct channel to SpaceX lunar headquarters.

"Situation Report: My shit is well and truly fucked."

The expedition was never heard from again.

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Last edited by Naelok on Sat Mar 31, 2018 3:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2018 2:01 pm 
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Appropriately bi curious lol

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 Post subject: Re: You guys are fucked
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 2:29 am 
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Standing victorious over the planet Ideliasan, Brother Librarian Sputnik "Sputs" Sputtersman of the Ultramarines knew that his day had come.

Having personally banished the Archdaemon Ko'tora'ver back to the Warp with his almighty psychic powers, he had proved himself to be an exemplary fighter in even this most exemplary of Chapters. His name would be spoken in the same breaths as Cato Sicarius, Galatan the Ancient, Almighty Tigarius and Jeb the Dickpuncher. At long last, the respect he so richly deserved would be his and the Emperor's foes would quake at his coming.

As he attached a fifth Purity Seal to his Sacred Power Armour, a sudden beeping erupted in his Vox Channel, Priority Alpha Omegus 00. Snapping to attention, the Librarian hefted his mighty staff and clasped it tightly.

"Well Brother Sputnik," a familiar voice intoned. Could it be? It was the Archdaemon Ko'tora'ver! "We meet again."

"I just banished you like yesterday!" Sputnik shouted, "Fuck your shit!"

"On the contrary, good Librarian," the Archdaemon sneered, "It is your shit that is well and truly fucked."

The great maw of the Warp opened and the daemons descended on Ideliasan once more and before sunrise the Archdaemon's words would be proven to be extremely correct.

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