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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Thu Jan 29, 2015 3:13 am 
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Bob Ross stepped out into the blistering sun of mid day Manitoba. His heart was broken from a lost love, and his penis was broken from a newly found one. He smiled through his tears. Maybe this new girl was exactly the thing he needed to get over his ex.

Suddenly his phone buzzed.

It was her, his ex, and the message contained only one word: Important!

"Aw fuck!"

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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2016 5:46 am 
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David Bronson aspired to be a level 40 sales clerk in Game of War Thrones but his night shift at Redi-Mart was getting in the way. On the eve of all hallows eve he devised a plan. Arriving at work six minutes early he installed a database on the company server and began to run a script he wrote in Kobol. He went about his duties as part time assistant manager like nothing was amiss.

At 12 midnight he heard the telltale beeping of the security alarm. His manager walked up beside him and looked up at display grid.

On it was one word: 'Important!'

"Oh fuck!"


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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2016 6:35 am 
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I like these.

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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2016 12:15 am 
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Branson ran under the bridge as the ninjas closed in on him. In desperation he pulled out his comlink and radiod in for backup, but something was wrong. The little red warning light was flashing and he pressed the info button.

The display showed an important message.

"Oh fuck..?!"


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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2016 6:27 pm 
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"Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again.”

Robert Jordan leaned back in his office chair with a stupid grin on his face, sweat beading on his forehead. He sighed contentedly. Resting both his hands on his ample belly, he admired his day's writing. It had been a challenge to write those few sentences, but it was going to be a grand tale when it was done. The eternal struggle of light versus dark. The epic saga of Donno. And space marine Timothy. And the heart of chaos itself. And the totally radical day when all the shit went down, everywhere, all at once, SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Feeling mighty proud of himself, he struggled to unbuckle his belt with one hand while his other hand navigated to the address bar of his browser. Time to reward his efforts with a little treat, he thought to himself, and he tapped out the URL to one of his favorite sites one character at a time with his finger. The "V" key was a little sticky, potato chips under the button crunched when he pressed down upon it, yet it was a challenge he easily rose to easily, and the URL completed, he hammered the ENTER button with hungry anticipation.

The jpegs slowly started filling in, their bits trickling down his 56k modem line, but before they could fully render, a popup appeared at the lower right corner of his laptop screen with a soft ding.

"Damn thee, Bill Gates! NOT NOW. I shant be upgrading to Windows 10!. Huh.. Wait. Prithee? What's this?". He brushed the cookie crumbs from his shirt and sat upright, suddenly at attention.

The popup said only one thing. "important". In soft, unassuming letters. Elegant curves in a typeface he'd never seen before. And if Robert Jordan knew one thing, it was about fonts. He owned at least two font packs and knew the names of every font in them. Anything from "Archivo Narrow" to "Roboto MT condensed" and anything inbetween he could identify at a glance. And yet this font was unknown to him. How very strange. His heart pounded rapidly and he wished he had a 'big gulp' soda to quiet it down.

He moved his cursor to dismiss the box, but before he could, the pop-up faded away completely, leaving no indication that it was ever there.

"... Oh fuck"

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Last edited by Osiris on Sun May 29, 2016 1:12 am, edited 3 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2016 1:04 am 
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James McAdams wiped a drop of sweat from his brow. This was supposed to have been a perfect crime. The accounts were supposed to be drained and his people were meant to walk out of the Exo-Vault as billionaires. And most significantly, his name was supposed to stay well out of it. And yet, here he was, waiting at Terminal 35-C, doing his best to scramble the visual receptors of the patrolling surveillance drones as he waited for the next SCReN Shuttle flying out of the system.

James nearly jumped when his Comm Signaller suddenly gave him a Signal, he nearly jumped. He'd told his people to maintain communication silence, for he could not guarantee a secure channel this close to the Enforcement...

The word manifested on James' holographic display before he could even finish his thought:

"Important."

James felt his arms fall at his sides. He took a deep breath, knowing he had only seconds, before whispering: "Oh fuck...!"

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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2016 2:49 am 
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Very classy very smooth you guys


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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2016 4:09 pm 
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The stones loosened and the ground rumbled as a secret door openend in the wall. Prad and his companions walked through carefully carrying torches and staffs of firebolt and also Liam Neeson was there.

"This is the room from the video text", Liam Neeson said as he checked his phone.

Prad looked back at the girl, "Ok do it Nia."

Nia pulled out the ten scrolls from her pack and read them for ten hours while Prad, Jims and Liam Neeson played go fish.

At the end of ten hours Jims looked up, "my god!"

He had all the fish. Prad and Liam Neeson looked at eachother and Prad grabbed Nia.

"Nia, STOP! THIS IS IMPORTANT!"

Nia looked at the vast pile of cards Prad had collected, "Holy FUCK!"


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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2016 1:40 am 
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WHAT A FRESH TWIST ON A TIMELESS CLASSIC!!!

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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2016 5:01 am 
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I feel like I cheated a little and slandered the good name of super important but I just kinda went with it.


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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2016 4:24 pm 
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http://www.reddit.com/r/superimportant

seemed like a thing to nab up

lmao I forgot to turn off links: https://www.reddit.com/r/SuperImportant/comments/4lrx1o/battle_pope/


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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2016 8:29 am 
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Barry Xavier rubbed his hands together, feeling his member stiffen with involuntary excitement under the warm white glow of his computer screen.

Xavier had always known he was destined for Reddit greatness, but thus far it had eluded him. But no longer! A gif of a cat jumping on a Tardis with an expertly photoshopped batman mask placed in the final frame... simple, elegant genius. The front page would soon be his and, once he seized those heights, Xavier knew that he would finally have the internet adoration he so richly deserved.

He pressed the 'submit' button and waited for three full seconds before slamming 'F5'. No replies. Not yet. Still, he knew he shouldn't get anxious. These things needed to brew. He figured he should just kick back with the twenty seven gigabytes of Hearthstone-themed porn he had been hoarding, or perhaps go debate the plebians on the Dr. Who boards. Yes, that was the proper way for an internet sensation in the making to behave.

He lightly tapped F5 again and felt a shock of excitement. A reply? So soon? Unprecedented! His hands shook as he clicked the orange mail envelope.

'Important'. A single word that changed everything. Xavier's eyes widened as the flood of upvotes began.

"Oh fuck!"

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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2016 5:25 pm 
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I like these

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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2016 6:18 pm 
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good for that guy!!


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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 10:49 am 
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Space marine Timothy rasped heavily through the artificed rebreather built into his mil-spec null energy hazmat suit. His battle against the heart of chaos was going kind of shitty, despite some sweet opening moves. A flashing red holograph appeared on his visor, indicating threat readings at every compass point.

"By Danno's name. You will taste my fury!"

The queen of chaos held up a finger as if to shush him. She was looking at a new Tinder request on her phone. "This is important"

The message read:

"Let's fuck"

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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 1:31 am 
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Lol i hope thos thread never dies. Its important.


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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 5:16 am 
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Donald "Don" Trump stepped into the Oval Office, rubbing his hands together. All these weeks of ridicule and mockery had taken their toll, but he knew that now was his time. After eight years of pussyfooting around the world, America was finally back. He imagined that all great men had to go through these days... but wasn't it Ghandi who said that the haters were going to hate? He was pretty sure it was. Regardless, with the arms of the most powerful government in the world, he would show them all. As he rattled off a text to the Queen of Chaos, the President began to outline his vision to his team.

"Our first order of business," the President said as he planted himself in his new chair. It creaked under his weight and he shook his head. What had this country come to? "Is..."

Donald stopped. A single folded piece of paper had been left on the desk (HIS desk). Why hadn't the janitorial staff thrown it off? "Unionized faggots..." he muttered as he picked it up, but before he could crush it between his stubby fingers, he stopped. A single word was scrawled at the front in Obama's girlish handwriting:

Important.

The President's eyes widened as the nuclear conflagration began.

"Oh fuck!"

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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 8:43 pm 
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"It's happening." My brother stared wide-eyed into the evening night, his breathless words.

"What is?" I followed his gaze skyward.

His whispered response could scarcely be heard over the growing rush of the void. The stars in the sky were dying, and my blood went cold.

"everything.."


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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2018 6:13 pm 
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Billy Tanner ran the 5 second mile and high fived his coach, Terrible O'neil.

"Way to go Billy, these german fuckers won't ever beat that score."

"Thanks Terrible, you have been the best of friends in all my days."

Suddenly a rep from the Olympics ran up with a notice. Terrible opened the letter with a fervor and his face sank.

"Oh no!"

"What is it!"

Billy snatched the note away and read it: Osama is BACK!

"No!", Billy coughed, "He was the only one who can beat my score!"

"There's no way. Our 9/11 plan to frame him was perfect. Hold on let me check something, give me your laptop!"

Billy handed Terrible his laptop (it had been strapped to his back while he ran the mile) and Terrible keyed up the e-mail.

"I knew it, you stupid fucking piece of shit", Terrible pushed Billy back, "Look at this e-mail, what the fuck is missing?"

Billy looked at the e-mail that he had sent from his secret account: Osama totally blew up your towers, go get him.

Billy's mouth fell open when he realized his mistake. There was no red exclamation point.

"Nooooooo", He had forgotten to mark the e-mail: Important.


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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 6:23 pm 
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Ray Carlson sealed the deal and sealed it hard. He scored six figures and his commision would bring him many a hooker and blow party. Suddenly his wife showed up!

"It's important."

"Oh fuck!"


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