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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:39 pm 

Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2000 1:00 pm
Posts: 5700
Taven outpost was blistering with rucus as the convoys came in. Commander Smithers looked onward, lost in thought. He wondered if Alicia would have waited for him if he didn't beat her senseless every night. He wondered if dry bread molded slower than wet bread, and he wondered about racial stereotypes. Was he a racial stereotype? No, it couldn't be. His lineage was too pure. Suddenly he looked up and saw a foot flying at his face. On the bottom of the shoe he noticed a word inscribed: Important.

"Oh fuck"

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 Post subject: Re: super important
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2018 8:48 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2000 12:00 pm
Posts: 8230
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
"Import ants"? Lenny G, the Mars director, poured over the directive from Terran command with puzzlement. What the fuck kind of message was this? How do you even respond? With a six-month ping-latency using their Comcast internet, the real question is do you bother responding at all?

The last time Lenny G questioned an order, he was a rookie in the planetary militia. His mistake cost many people a restful evening, and the specter of that incident haunted him to this day. He was not eager to repeat the same mistake. But this order was just fucking silly.

"Hey, Ben. What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"

"Do you think it's a typo?" Ben the intern offered, sipping some coffee

"Fuck this order. Fuck it right in the ass!". Lenny G wadded up the dot matrix printout and tossed it into the waste bin. It went in without touching the rim. Score!

"You see that?!!" Lenny G power humped the air, jacking his arms triumphantly

"Great work boss!". The rest of the administration office seemed amused. It was casual Friday and Susan was wearing shorts.

18 months later the red alert sirens went off. They went off big time.

"I wish Ben hadn't died from space-AIDS" Lenny G thought. "He'd know how to shut this alarm off."

Someone else turned on a television to the local Martian news channel. Apparently, the main city had been invaded by alien picnickers and everything was really getting out of control.

"Oh fuck!!!!"

"I love Linux and install kernels every day using my favorite distro, Redhat Ubunto" - Naelok "mkfs" Torvalds, Sep 25 2013

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