RStefan01.com - Archives

Let's start a "random quotes" suggestion thread :) - undertow

undertowPosted: 03-31-2000 01:11 PM
"And as we descended, cries of
impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million
voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged,
"Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel
said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the
carrots! "


-undertow

SoulTakerPosted: 03-31-2000 01:24 PM
"Beware of the evil daemons of the sacred land, Gaa'nah. Show them one glass of tap water, and they shall run against you from their quiet caves, they shall shove keyboards down your throat, they shall rip of your arms and play golf with them, and they shall take your hair and color it pink. Indeed, young apprentice, the evil daemons of Gaa'nah are to be feared by all mortals, for they are the incarnate of all evils!"

-SoulTaker

RStefan01Posted: 03-31-2000 02:36 PM
undertow: Something confusing about your quote... there's only five quote marks in there, so one of them either isn't being opened or closed... and if that's dialogue in there, shouldn't that be with an apostrophe, not a quote mark? =)

Anyways, tell me if this is right:

"And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, 'Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?' And the angel said unto me, 'These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!'"

RStefan01Posted: 03-31-2000 02:39 PM
Oh, and when giving quotes, you'll have to tell me if their original of if someone else said them. If they aren't original, then I'd want to know who said it, cause you aren't getting credit for someone else's quote hehehe
undertowPosted: 03-31-2000 03:06 PM
1) Yeah, you got it right, I had just copy-pasted that into the postbox. I do see a typo, though, "possesed" should be "possessed".. my bad..


2) It's from a "song" called Disgustipated off of Tool's undertow album. So just attribute it to Tool.

-undertow

[This message has been edited by undertow (edited 03-31-2000).]

SM_007Posted: 03-31-2000 03:18 PM
Hrm, I might have some quotes for ya. I just need to think a little and remember some other good ones before I subit them, hehe.

SM_007

RStefan01Posted: 03-31-2000 03:43 PM
Hmm, what about SoulTaker's quote? Did he write that or has someone heard that somewhere before? (Just wondering, because I don't know how often he checks here seeing as he's out of the country)
RStefan01Posted: 03-31-2000 03:59 PM
Oh, and I'm starting to add quotes to the script now =)
SoulTakerPosted: 03-31-2000 06:17 PM
"The quote I wrote above is my own personal creation, created to show my anger to the spirits trying to incinerate my mortal body"

-SoulTaker

BTW, I check the forum once or twice per day.

EdgePosted: 03-31-2000 11:04 PM
Here some stuff that frequently comes to mind:

"Me = Bored" - Edge (anyone who knows me should know that I say this frequently)

"'Steal the Bacon'? I thought it was 'Spank the Bacon'" - Bladimir Cepeda (he's my friend. he said this yesterday while we were playing "You Don't Know Jack" and this question popped up. I almost pissed in my pants).

"I don't have pet peeves; I have major psychotic fucking hatreds." - George Carlin

When I think of some more, they'll go up.

RStefan01Posted: 03-31-2000 11:17 PM
As of right now all quotes on this thread have been added to the script =)
EdgePosted: 03-31-2000 11:56 PM
Oh yeah...all those quotes up there from George Carlin are courtesy of me.

If you're curious, they're all from his album "You Are All Diseased" (which was also an HBO special a couple years ago). The entire album is hilarious. All he does is rant about stuff that pissed him off. And a lot of stuff pisses him off. You name it...kids, religion, men, parents, TV...he puts a little bit of everything into it. I highly recommend getting this album.

Pretty much any George Carlin album is great, but this one is one of the best.

rRaminrodtPosted: 04-01-2000 01:09 PM
Quotes are good.

SoulTakerPosted: 04-01-2000 01:20 PM
"New York Metropolitan Transportation Authority: When you don't give a shit about your appointments"

-SoulTaker

SoulTakerPosted: 04-01-2000 01:21 PM
"My girlfriend and I were happy for 14 years. Then we met"

-SoulTaker

SoulTakerPosted: 04-01-2000 01:24 PM
"I think, therefore I am overqualified"

-SoulTaker

AkardamPosted: 04-01-2000 01:46 PM
"You're just mad at because you spent all those years at clown college." - Sideshow Bob

"I'll thank you not to refer to Harvard that way." - Cecil

Akardam Out

RStefan01Posted: 04-01-2000 02:00 PM
All of the above have been added =)
RStefan01Posted: 04-02-2000 08:46 AM
hehe, no more? There's only 14 in the script right now =)
MaverickPosted: 04-02-2000 09:04 AM
[Agent911] shhh...I know Im full of shit

[Lady_Rose] i cant see my own text!!!!
[IN@Maynard] unignore urself u stupid girl

[Venus] one of the first times I went to terry's house I threw him... I dunno if he was more impressed or scared
[Venus] he was all "so what are you going to do to stop me?"
[Venus] so I threw him

[IN^LameKing] sicko...
[INjiMMu] no shit man
[INjiMMu] you didn't think that was ME with your mom did you?

------------------
Maverick
Webmaster Of The Blizzard Extreme Network
http://www.blizzx.net

RStefan01Posted: 04-02-2000 09:35 AM
Hmm, I dunno, those are "different" to say the least =)

What's everyone else think about them? (Gotta remember, you'll be the ones staring at them on the top of the forum hehe)

MaverickPosted: 04-02-2000 09:39 AM
They were just three from a whole Kali Chat Log I had, just this week

and wtf happened. How did this thread get above mine? It was on bottom...
*threads move around randomly...scary*
[the conspiracy continues]

------------------
Maverick
Webmaster Of The Blizzard Extreme Network
http://www.blizzx.net

TridusPosted: 04-02-2000 09:44 AM
I dunno, putting entire conversations up there would be kinda space consuming if the line breaks are included, and confusing to read if the line breaks aren't included.

Of course I browse here at 90% zoom, so space isn't an issue for me.

RStefan01Posted: 04-02-2000 09:48 AM
When you reply to a thread it jumps back up to the top of the list.
MaverickPosted: 04-02-2000 09:50 AM
Ahhhh, I see. Thats cool

------------------
Maverick
Webmaster Of The Blizzard Extreme Network
http://www.blizzx.net

SoulTakerPosted: 04-03-2000 10:04 AM
"A social life? Where can I download that?"

-SoulTaker

[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-03-2000).]

[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-03-2000).]

PeEpeRsPosted: 04-03-2000 09:17 AM
"Being healthy is only a slower way to die." -PeEpeRs
SoulTakerPosted: 04-03-2000 09:24 AM
"Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid"

-SoulTaker

undertowPosted: 04-03-2000 03:21 PM
"Even paranoids have enemies" - Tom Clancy

-undertow http://undertow.8m.com

PeEpeRsPosted: 04-03-2000 06:05 PM
"Me llamo."


-PeEpeRs

[This message has been edited by PeEpeRs (edited 04-03-2000).]

PeEpeRsPosted: 04-03-2000 06:05 PM
"I hope that an animal never drills a hole in my head and lays its eggs because when I get a good idea, it is probably just the eggs hatching."


-Jack Handy

PeEpeRsPosted: 04-03-2000 06:17 PM
"You're a true failure if you can't even commit suicide."


-PeEpeRs

lil bo shepherdPosted: 04-03-2000 09:49 PM
"That rainbow song's no good. Take it out."
- MGM memo after first showing of The Wizard Of Oz.

True quote

"You'd better learn secretarial skills or else get married."
- Modelling agency, rejecting Marilyn Monroe in 1944.

another true quote

"Everything worthwhile has already been invented."
- director of the US Patent Office, 1899.

yet another true one

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

hehe most of these are true quotes

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series

hell all of these are true quotes

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" -Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut. -Albert Einstein

lil bo shepherdPosted: 04-03-2000 09:49 PM

"I dont have any more quotes"
-lil bo shepherd


p.s. in case ur wondering i put this quote here cuz i was editing something else that doesnt make any sense. Hmmmm...

[This message has been edited by lil bo shepherd (edited 04-03-2000).]

RStefan01Posted: 04-04-2000 06:35 AM
As of now, all of the quotes on this thread have been added to the script, which brings it to a total of 27 quotes. The only exception is:

"I dont have any more quotes" - lil bo shepherd

Were you serious about that one? It's hard to tell from the post hehe

SoulTakerPosted: 04-04-2000 01:23 PM
No matter if it was serious or not, I think it should be included =)

"As I said before, I never repeat myself."

-SoulTaker

[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-04-2000).]

SoulTakerPosted: 04-04-2000 01:24 PM
"Teamwork is vital. It gives you someone to blame."

-SoulTaker

[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-04-2000).]

SoulTakerPosted: 04-04-2000 01:26 PM
"I'm having an out-of-money experience."

-SoulTaker

[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-04-2000).]

SoulTakerPosted: 04-04-2000 01:28 PM
"No sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway."

-SoulTaker

[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-04-2000).]

RStefan01Posted: 04-04-2000 04:34 PM
Script updated again with all of the above, including lil bo shepherd's quote. There are now 32 quotes =)
SoulTakerPosted: 04-05-2000 04:26 PM
"Shampoo? No thanks, I'll use real poo."

-SoulTaker

SoulTakerPosted: 04-05-2000 04:27 PM
"Death is not that common in foolball."

-Sky News reporter, on the death of a foolball fan.

[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-06-2000).]

[This message has been edited by SoulTaker (edited 04-06-2000).]

SoulTakerPosted: 04-05-2000 04:30 PM
"Keep Americal beautiful... Emigrate."

-SoulTaker

SoulTakerPosted: 04-05-2000 04:31 PM
"He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke."

-SoulTaker

RStefan01Posted: 04-05-2000 04:35 PM
Updated: 36 quotes
SoulTakerPosted: 04-06-2000 02:30 AM
By some reason, I misspelled "football" in the quote above. Ironically, I misspelled it as "fool-ball" =)

In any case the proper quote is:

"Death is not that common in football."

-Sky News Reporter, on the death of a football fan

RStefan01Posted: 04-06-2000 05:37 AM
LOL, I didn't even notice it, it's fixed now though =)
CrimsonPosted: 04-08-2000 01:49 PM
"I can't Believe I Ate The Whole Thing" - Homer Simpson


Has anyone taken that yet?

CrimsonPosted: 04-08-2000 01:51 PM
"Do or Do not, there is no try" - Yoda

That has to be taken, is it? hehe

CrimsonPosted: 04-08-2000 01:55 PM
"Ahh the land of chocolate" - Homer Simpson

"Curtis I think I shit my pants!"

hehehe that curtis one is from real life but I won't say who said it

CrimsonPosted: 04-08-2000 02:03 PM
"Buckle up Bitch"
CrimsonPosted: 04-08-2000 02:06 PM
"When she said she'd let me give her a 9 inch hard drive I thought she was talking about sex" - Crimson
CrimsonPosted: 04-08-2000 02:08 PM
"And then when she said she wanted a 3 1/2 inch floppy I went to get my brother" - Crimson
RStefan01Posted: 04-08-2000 04:05 PM
I'm not going to use "Buckle up Bitch" and "Curtis I think I shit my pants!" because I dunno, I didn't really find them to be that great hehe... also, the last two are going to be displayed at the same time, because the second one wouldn't make sense alone. I should be updating the script witht them sometime soon.
PeEpeRsPosted: 04-09-2000 11:40 PM
"She told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt, so i fucked her 3 times and punched her in the mouth."


-PeEpeRs

[This message has been edited by PeEpeRs (edited 04-09-2000).]

RStefan01Posted: 04-16-2000 02:59 PM
I think I'll add some Ace Ventura and Spaceballs quotes when I think some good ones up =)
undertowPosted: 04-16-2000 03:20 PM
"Ludicrous speed! Go!"

RStefan01Posted: 04-16-2000 03:46 PM
New quotes, thanks to online movie scripts that I got them from (for accuracy):

"Ludicrous speed! Go!" - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

"What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz, chicken?" - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

"How many Assholes we got on this ship, anyhow?" - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

"On a sadder note, Pizza the Hut (famed half-man, half-pizza) was found dead earlier today in the back seat of his
stretched limo. Evidently, the notorious gangster became locked in his car, and ate himself to death." - Spaceballs

"Why didn't somebody tell me ass was so big?" - President Skroob, Spaceballs

"Careful, you idiot. I said across her nose, not up it." - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

"Jammed? Raspberry. There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry. Lone Starr!" - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

"Hi, I'm looking for Ray Finkle. And a clean pair of shorts." - Ace Ventura

"Venturaaaaa?" "Yes, Satan? Oh, I'm sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else." - Ace Ventura

RStefan01Posted: 04-16-2000 03:55 PM
Another, thanks to SM_007:

"Spaceballs?" "Oh shit, there goes the planet." - Two Apes, Spaceballs

That's also the 50th quote =)

Eye of the NightPosted: 04-16-2000 04:54 PM
"Jungle law: Eat or be eaten...hmmmm..." - Eye of the Night

"I'm alive...I think" - The King

(Lastly, my own

------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.

RStefan01Posted: 04-16-2000 05:07 PM
Updated, that makes 53 =)
RStefan01Posted: 04-17-2000 10:34 PM
Beware, "Headlines" are on the Tonight Show tonight, I should pick up some good stuff there =)
RStefan01Posted: 04-17-2000 11:14 PM
Newly added:

"You know how bad of a hit the stock market took? The richest man in the world is now M.C. Hammer!" - Jay Leno, The Tonight Show

"Janet Reno gets confused - sends Evian to Cuba" - Headlines, The Tonight Show

"Poop pellets could pass for party snacks" - Headlines, The Tonight Show

"1 ten month old jackass for sale, named Al Gore" - Headlines, The Tonight Show

"Free jelly beans with any purchase of Collgate toothpaste" - Headlines, The Tonight Show

"Mike Hosty plays with himself Tues. 25" - Headlines, The Tonight Show

RStefan01Posted: 04-17-2000 11:51 PM
From SL-27 while talking in channel Riptide on Battle.net:

"In the year 2000, Ballpark hotdogs will no longer plump when you cook them. Instead they will spit at you and call you a whore!" - Conan O'Brien

kwerkeyPosted: 04-18-2000 12:48 PM
"I don't know what your problems is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce"
"If pro is the opposite of con, then what's the opposite of progress?"
"No ossifer, there'ss no blood in my alchoholll"
"When the officer told me my eyes were red and asked me if I'd been drinking, I told him his eyes looked glazed and asked if he'd been eating donuts."


Welcome to insanity

RStefan01Posted: 04-18-2000 04:54 PM
Added =)

That makes 68 quotes now =)

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 04-19-2000 12:10 AM
"En Taro Adun, Noble Qui Gon, I am Jar Jar Binks, I owe you a debt of Gratitude for recovering me from the Brink of Oblivion. I would suggest that we take refuge among the fortifications of Gunga city, but I fear that my bretheren have banished me for my lack of bodily dexterity"- Jar Jar Binks

"Watching a TLC Video is one thing, seeing these Gray birds verbally castrate a man is another" Rear Admiral Gerard DuGalle


"There appears to be a Large vortex in close proximity to Aiur, though it emits no subspace vibrations it is spewing fourth a Methane nebula"-Adjutant

"I will bring the Terran Dominion to it's Knees" UED president steering attention away from a recent sex scandal

RStefan01Posted: 04-19-2000 12:40 AM
Added =)

(We're at 72 now)

StrikerPosted: 04-19-2000 12:55 AM
"So you call my mom a slut, a skank, and a hoe. You forget tramp.
RStefan01Posted: 04-19-2000 12:59 AM
That your quote? (Needs a name hehe)
Eye of the NightPosted: 04-19-2000 04:33 PM
"To die, to sleep, perchance to zzzzzz..." - Eye of the Night

(hehehe...deep one)

------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.

RStefan01Posted: 04-19-2000 05:08 PM
Updated with both Striker's and Eye of the Night's quotes, that makes 74 total.
RStefan01Posted: 04-20-2000 02:24 AM
Increasing the total to 76:

"When I was your age, I [Elian Gonzalez] had to swim 90 miles to school!" - Jay Leno, The Tonight Show
"Studies show that teenage girls that drink are more likely to be sexually active. Apparently this study was funded by teenage boys." - Jay Leno, The Tonight Show

Eye of the NightPosted: 04-20-2000 03:51 AM
A human being is part of the whole, called by us the universe. A part
limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and
feelings, as something separate from the rest, a kind of optical
delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for
us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few
persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this
prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living
creatures.-Albert Einstein


------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.

RStefan01Posted: 04-20-2000 06:09 AM
Added =)
Eye of the NightPosted: 04-20-2000 08:06 AM
"I must have made the acquaintance of Satan and Shylock at about the same time, for the two characters were long associated
in my mind. I remember that I was sorry for them. I felt vaguely that they could not be good even if they wished to, because no
one seemed willing to help them or to give them a fair chance. Even now I cannot find it in my heart to condemn them\ utterly.
There are moments that I feel that the Shylocks, the Judases, and even the Devil, are broken spokes in the great wheel of good
which shall in due time be made whole." (Helen Keller, _The Story of My Life_)

------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.

TyrantPosted: 04-20-2000 10:24 AM
"I spell it wrong cause I can"

-Tyrant

RStefan01Posted: 04-20-2000 07:29 PM
Hmm, Eye of the Night, that one's a bit too long, it'd take up a lot of space on the top of the forum, so I don't want to use it for that reason =(

Tyrant's quote has been added though =)

WizardSlayerPosted: 04-20-2000 10:27 PM
Bloobedy, Bloobedy, Bloobedy, Bloobedy ...
RStefan01Posted: 04-21-2000 10:44 AM
Is that a quote?
undertowPosted: 04-21-2000 11:17 AM
"i kant spel" - me

kwerkeyPosted: 04-21-2000 02:55 PM
"hte zurj si teh nemay ov teh bettlcrsr!" -TerinUnit

------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity

RStefan01Posted: 04-21-2000 03:20 PM
hehe those last two were both added, now there's 80 quotes
WizardSlayerPosted: 04-21-2000 03:28 PM
"Excuse me, are you aware your wearing my pants?" - WizardSlayer
"Damn ferrets, Damn cats, Damn Animals" - WizardSlayer
"Bloobedy!" - WizardSlayer
"WARNING: Extreme coolness is imperitive, buckle up." - WizDom

That other one wasn't a quote. That was a product of boredem. =)

------------------
~WizardSlayer
WizDom Webmaster
"Damn Ferrets, Damn Cats, Damn Animals"

RStefan01Posted: 04-21-2000 03:32 PM
Updated, now there's 84 =)
Eye of the NightPosted: 04-21-2000 06:28 PM
It isn't that long, is it? (With spaces and returns righted)

"I lie" - liar

------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.

RStefan01Posted: 04-21-2000 06:32 PM
Yeah, I tried it out and it's still pretty long =(

The newest one has been added and there's 85 now =)

kwerkeyPosted: 04-22-2000 12:16 AM
"Harness your stupidity!" -Kryten, Red Dwarf

------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity

RStefan01Posted: 04-22-2000 11:20 AM
Now there's 87, I added another one myself =)

"Harness your stupidity!" - Kryten, Red Dwarf

"Smeghead!" - Red Dwarf

RStefan01Posted: 04-22-2000 11:49 AM
Also just added:

"You want that doo doo so bad, you can taste it!" - Ace Ventura

RStefan01Posted: 04-22-2000 12:28 PM
Newly added from My Name Is:

"I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast" - My Name Is, Eminem
"I just found out my mom does more dope than I do" - My Name Is, Eminem

(Now there's 90 quotes)

kwerkeyPosted: 04-23-2000 08:25 PM
These are all subtitles from Japanese movies, translated into English:
"I threat you! I challenge you meet me on the roof tonight for a duet!"
"I will kill you until you are dead from it!"
"The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?"
"I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!"
"I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way."
"Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep."
"I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!"
"You are too useless. And now I must beat you."
"Gun wounds again?"
"A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries."
"You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous ricechicken."
"Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants."
"Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected."
"Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?"
"Quiet or I'll blow your throat up."
"You daring lousy guy."
"Beat him out of recognizable shape!"
"How can you use my intestines as a gift?"
"Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!"

------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity"

RStefan01Posted: 04-23-2000 08:40 PM
All added, that makes 110 quotes now =)
-=General=-Posted: 04-23-2000 10:14 PM
Got to love the so called "Translators."
RStefan01Posted: 04-24-2000 05:22 AM
Added, as suggested by Striker:

"I lay awake and strap myself in the bed. Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head." - My Name Is, Eminem

kwerkeyPosted: 04-24-2000 08:11 PM
"An IQ of 6000 isn't that much, it's only the same as 12,000 PE teachers" -Holly, Red Dwarf
P.S. I'm getting worried that this thread is going to break, same as the TestZ thread.

------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity"

RStefan01Posted: 04-24-2000 08:15 PM
Added =)

I doubt the thread will break since it was made with the newer version of the script though.

Eye of the NightPosted: 04-25-2000 03:57 PM
"Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"
"It's just a flesh wound"
"Come here! I'll bite your legs off!"
All form Monthy Python and the holy grail

------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.

RStefan01Posted: 04-25-2000 04:39 PM
Updated, that makes 115 =)
RStefan01Posted: 04-25-2000 08:09 PM
I picked these up while watching Family Guy tonight:

"Is this really the blood of Christ? Man, that guy must have been wasted 24 hours a day!" - Peter, Family Guy

"It's not so much that I want to kill her, it's that I don't want her to be alive anymore." - Stewie, Family Guy

undertowPosted: 04-25-2000 08:45 PM
to get the 100th post on this thread

"Violence in video games? Sounds like a plan!" - me

RStefan01Posted: 04-25-2000 09:06 PM
added =)
RStefan01Posted: 04-26-2000 01:07 AM
hehe just heard this one on tv =)

"If I was the last man on earth, you think I'd be talking to you?" - Ryan, Unhappily Ever After

RStefan01Posted: 04-27-2000 06:08 PM
Just added Gunslinger's quote, which he used in another post:

"The Man in Black fled across the desert, and The Gunslinger followed." - Gunslinger

lil bo shepherdPosted: 04-27-2000 06:31 PM
this one may cause some feedback, but here goes


"I am better than you all" -lil bo shepherd

RStefan01Posted: 04-27-2000 06:34 PM
Yeah, I dunno how I'd feel about posting lies on the forum hehehe
lil bo shepherdPosted: 04-27-2000 06:36 PM
ha...ha....ha......

What.. You dont think im better than you?
name something that your better than me at!!!
*besides being sexy*

Big Sexy StefanPosted: 04-27-2000 06:38 PM
=)
RStefan01Posted: 04-27-2000 06:38 PM
I dunno, stuff =)
lil bo shepherdPosted: 04-27-2000 06:38 PM
*sigh*
StrikerPosted: 04-27-2000 10:39 PM
I've got a QUOTE!

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx

RStefan01Posted: 04-27-2000 10:45 PM
The below were added:

"Suck me beautiful" - American Pie
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." - Mark Twain
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made." - Groucho Marx

StrikerPosted: 04-27-2000 10:54 PM
Smiley!

=)

RStefan01Posted: 04-27-2000 11:29 PM
Added:

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce

There are now 127 quotes in the script =)

RStefan01Posted: 04-28-2000 12:07 AM
Added:

"The best way to predict your future is to create it." - Unknown

RStefan01Posted: 04-28-2000 10:54 PM
Eye of the Night's quote from Hellen Keller that I said was too long earlier has been added now that I'm using a slightly different way to display the quotes. Now I'm using a percentage of the screen instead of a fixed amount, which will result in more of the space at the top being used =)

(I'm thinking 90% right now, just smaller than the 95% that the tables on the rest of the forum layout use)

Eye of the NightPosted: 04-29-2000 07:04 PM
Yay!
"This is not a quote" -?-
RStefan01Posted: 04-29-2000 10:00 PM
What's that question mark for? =)
CrimsonPosted: 04-30-2000 02:43 PM
"The colour of my name is the colour of anarchy, the colour of free thought and expression. The colour of my name is the colour of my enemy's blood, it incites fear in my fellow man. The colour of my name is, Red"

That's what i put for my blood omen quote page (the guild i joined after stefan quit) i think it'd kinda cool. when your name is red in UO it means your a PK

it's ok to laugh if you want... hehe

Eye of the NightPosted: 04-30-2000 04:25 PM
The questionmark adds a bit of mysticism, and is just related to the type of quote...some more of the type:

"Quote" -?-
"This is only an illusion" -?-
"You'll never read this, nor did you ever. You only do" -?-

Add 'm...

------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.

Eye of the NightPosted: 04-30-2000 05:57 PM
"A Dutchman's Double Dutch is Triple Dutch to any other, yet plain to the Dutch" -?-

------------------
Be all that you can be, reach all you can; you can be no more.

RStefan01Posted: 04-30-2000 07:23 PM
All of the above were added, in addition to this one:

"I am not here on a fartball scholarship" - Bart writing on the chalkboard, The Simpsons

That makes 136 total if anyone's wondering =)

kwerkeyPosted: 04-30-2000 10:13 PM
"I will not use abbrevs."
"This is not a clue. Or is it...."
Both are Bart on the chalkboard.

------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity"

RStefan01Posted: 04-30-2000 10:20 PM
added =)
RStefan01Posted: 05-01-2000 11:03 PM
Here's some more fun quotes from the Tonight Show:

"Stool softener can help remove ear wax buildup" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Buy one booger get one free" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Assorted microwave Pop Secret Bleach" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Will a sunscreen protect against nuclear radiation?" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Who played the part of E.T. or was it an alien?" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"What do you think about Gum Control?" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Ranked #1 for the first consecutive year!" - Headlines, The Tonight Show
"Lewinsky gets back on her feet" - Headlines, The Tonight Show

That makes the total 146 =)

RStefan01Posted: 05-02-2000 06:59 PM
"Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids... eat them!" - Homer, The Simpsons

=)

RStefan01Posted: 05-05-2000 01:26 AM
"Feel the eroticism" - Ravage!

=)

undertowPosted: 05-05-2000 09:31 AM
"AAAHH!! SPACE MONKEYS!! MYBRAINMYBRAINMYBR--- *slump*" - me

-ut

[This message has been edited by undertow (edited 05-05-2000).]

RStefan01Posted: 05-05-2000 04:07 PM
Added =)
undertowPosted: 05-05-2000 04:52 PM
This one's for the pants guy..

"Worldwide Pants" - the name of David Letterman's production company

-u

RStefan01Posted: 05-05-2000 05:24 PM
That was quote #150 =)
Eye of the NightPosted: 05-05-2000 06:39 PM
"151" -?-
RStefan01Posted: 05-05-2000 07:14 PM
added =)
kwerkeyPosted: 05-05-2000 09:56 PM
hehehe, this is from Dr. Nick (why did I say Albright?) on the Simpsons while operating on Homer:
"The knee bone's connected to the..somthing.
The something's connected to the..red thing.
The red thing's connected to my wristwatch....uh-oh"

------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity"

[This message has been edited by kwerkey (edited 05-05-2000).]

RStefan01Posted: 05-05-2000 10:00 PM
erm, don't you mean "Dr. Nick Riviera" ..? I'm pretty sure that's what the guy's name is..
kwerkeyPosted: 05-05-2000 10:03 PM
Yeah. I don't know why I said Albright. But I changed it anyway.

------------------
kwerkey
"Reality sucks, welcome to insanity"

RStefan01Posted: 05-05-2000 10:06 PM
I did a net search on Albright, apparently that's the name of the Sunday school teacher on the Simpsons. (Also, added the quote)
RStefan01Posted: 05-08-2000 01:15 AM
"It's eleven o'clock, do you know where your children are?" "I told you last night, NO!" - Homer watching tv, The Simpsons
RStefan01Posted: 05-09-2000 03:21 PM
"Your request is not unlike your lower intestine, stinky and loaded with danger." - Ace Ventura
Xel'NagaPosted: 05-09-2000 11:29 PM
Ah, the almighty monkey goblins. Set phasers to change sex!
RStefan01Posted: 05-10-2000 03:01 AM
You have been quoted, have a nice day.
RStefan01Posted: 05-10-2000 03:02 AM
Well, we're looking at the first five page post here =)
Eye of the NightPosted: 05-10-2000 05:31 AM
Yay!
"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!" - The spanish inquisition.
RStefan01Posted: 05-10-2000 02:46 PM
added =)
RStefan01Posted: 05-10-2000 08:25 PM
"I hope you at least buy her dinner before you Clinton all over her dress." - Mimi, The Drew Carey Show
RStefan01Posted: 05-12-2000 12:32 AM
"Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?" "No, did he hug you?!" Paul (Bruce Willis) and Chandler, Friends
Xel'NagaPosted: 05-12-2000 12:57 AM
"Nothing will make me leave here without my boy!"

"Mr. Smithers, bring out the robotic Richard Simmons!"

"Ahhhh!! Run!!"

RStefan01Posted: 05-12-2000 01:00 AM
It'll be added as soon as I finish downloading a few files off the server =)
Xel'NagaPosted: 05-12-2000 02:20 AM
"Need an extra hand over there?" - American Pie
Xel'NagaPosted: 05-12-2000 02:23 AM
Well, it's time to take my feet off!
RStefan01Posted: 05-12-2000 02:23 AM
added =)
Xel'NagaPosted: 05-12-2000 02:23 AM
Minime, you complete me!

(I have a minime at my school... I swear)

Xel'NagaPosted: 05-12-2000 02:24 AM
(Well, its a minime minime, not a minime of Dr. Evil. MMMMMMMKAY?)
Xel'NagaPosted: 05-12-2000 02:26 AM
Everything is nothing, yet nothing is everything. Although, sometimes there is something in nothing, or nothing in everything.
Xel'NagaPosted: 05-12-2000 02:29 AM
"Money for nothing and chicks for free!" - Dire Straights


One of my favorite things... heh =]

RStefan01Posted: 05-12-2000 02:30 AM
added =)
Xel'NagaPosted: 05-12-2000 02:33 AM
"The name's Nova, Cassanova." - American Pie
"Whats my name? Say my name bitch!" - American pie
"I like my wine aged 18 years" - American Pie
RStefan01Posted: 05-12-2000 02:35 AM
*added*

*goes to sleep*

Eye of the NightPosted: 05-12-2000 06:31 PM
"Tasty." - forum eater
RStefan01Posted: 05-12-2000 07:09 PM
added =)
PeEpeRsPosted: 05-12-2000 07:10 PM
"On the road of life there are passengers and there are drivers." - VW Commercial


"Life is like taking a shit...ya never know what ur gonna get." - PeEpeRs


"Its not my fault that all of the computers in the north side of school crashed!!!" - PeEpeRs


"I wanna be a teacher when i grow up...that way i can make stupid ass teacher jokes and annoy the hell out of everyone." - PeEpeRs


"Sherman's having relations." - Old Bag Grandma, Nutty Professor

RStefan01Posted: 05-12-2000 07:15 PM
Updated again. There are now 179 quotes.
Xel'NagaPosted: 05-12-2000 08:32 PM
"Meet people from all the over world, then kill them." - Subspace

"Got Milk?" - Got Milk people.

"Wheres the any key?" - Homer Simpson

"Where have all the cookies gone?" - Cookies n cream thing commercial

"MeeK" - me

RStefan01Posted: 05-12-2000 08:36 PM
Updated =)
RStefan01Posted: 05-13-2000 04:31 PM
I've heard the song enough times now, it's about time I added some of it to the quotes =)

"Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose. My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips, and if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss" - The Real Slim Shady, Eminem

"Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records, well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!" - The Real Slim Shady, Eminem

"I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me" - The Real Slim Shady, Eminem

undertowPosted: 05-15-2000 08:17 AM
"there's.........something........on-the-wing!" - William Shatner in a Twilight Zone episode

(anyone seen this episode? it's the one with the gremlin tearing the plane apart.. they put it into the twilight zone movie with John Lithgow as the guy who sees it, but the original one with Shatner is just so much cooler because of the way he talks.. )

-u

RStefan01Posted: 05-15-2000 02:51 PM
hehe yeah, I've seen it, though that line is more memorable to me, because Jim Carrey said it in the second Ace Ventura when they were on a plane hehe (added)
kwerkeyPosted: 05-16-2000 11:01 PM
"WTF's Riptide?" -()ver(V)ind
hehe, just remembered that one.

------------------
kwerkey
:Reality sucks, welcome to insanity:

RStefan01Posted: 05-16-2000 11:07 PM
Hmm, the one in the Riptide quotes is "What's Riptide?" -- ()ver(V)ind

Hmm, which is right? I didn't keep my message archive on ICQ when I upgraded.

kwerkeyPosted: 05-16-2000 11:09 PM
It's WTF, I'm sure of it

------------------
kwerkey
:Reality sucks, welcome to insanity:

RStefan01Posted: 05-16-2000 11:10 PM
That's how it's going to be added then =)
kwerkeyPosted: 05-17-2000 06:10 PM
All anonymous except the last one:
"Much can be achieved with a smile. Admittedly, much more can be achieved with a smile and a big stick."
"Love is a fire. Whether it will warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell."
"A wolf in sheeps clothing needs professional help."
"I don't use my conscience as my guide... it's more of a creative consultant."
"Why is it that people with closed minds always open their mouths?"
"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." -Paul Rodriguez

------------------
kwerkey :Reality sucks, welcome to insanity:
http://www.kwerkey.net

RStefan01Posted: 05-18-2000 05:53 AM
Updated, there are now 199 quotes =)
Eye of the NightPosted: 05-18-2000 05:08 PM
"I've got the 200th quote!" - Eye of the Night
-=General=-Posted: 05-18-2000 05:10 PM
Bah, that should not count as a quote.
Eye of the NightPosted: 05-18-2000 05:21 PM
Why not? It's not like quotes need to be serious...
They'd better not be...
-=General=-Posted: 05-18-2000 05:26 PM
Awe, damn, you got post 175 AND the top of page 6
Eye of the NightPosted: 05-18-2000 05:35 PM
Heehee...along with the 200th quote...ain't it sweet?
-=General=-Posted: 05-18-2000 05:46 PM
DIE! *stab*
Eye of the NightPosted: 05-18-2000 05:58 PM
*the knife breaks off*
Heehee...must be my lucky day
RStefan01Posted: 05-18-2000 06:47 PM
Quote #200 added =)
RStefan01Posted: 05-18-2000 08:06 PM
"I hate to drink alone, can I have a sandwich with it?" - Simon, Frasier
RStefan01Posted: 05-22-2000 07:44 PM
"You can't spell dishonorable without honorable" - Homer, The Simpsons

"She sees a certain cuteness to my stupidity, you know, the way people feel about Canada" - Titus

ProtossKingPosted: 05-23-2000 06:00 PM
"So... if I had a full bowl full it would be half a bowl full too full... a bowl full?" - Guy on the Cereal Commercial

Meh

------------------
Protoss_King_

RStefan01Posted: 05-23-2000 06:47 PM
added =)
RStefan01Posted: 05-23-2000 07:32 PM
"Your first name is Dick, your new last name is Head.. I guess that makes you-" "Oh my God!" - Harry and Dick, 3rd Rock From the Sun
NetRanger[TG]Posted: 05-24-2000 09:18 PM
"If at first you dont succeed, try sucking something else" -Some radio station

"So what if that poroxide doesnt feel good on your arm pits?" -Something that took me about 2 seconds to think of. (guess im gettin slow)
Net

RStefan01Posted: 05-25-2000 06:07 PM
added =)
NetRanger[TG]Posted: 05-25-2000 06:41 PM
"There are 3 types of people: those who can count, and those who can't" -Radio guy

"Just remember, 1/7 of your life is spent on a Monday" -Yet again, another radio guy

ProtossKingPosted: 05-25-2000 11:49 PM
"You hear, and you forget. You see, and you remember. You do, and you understand." - Ancient Chinese Proverb

"But Bernice, poking and prodding is what a dick does!" - Duckman (Dick as in private detective... but.. ya you get the joke)

"Riiiigh-t" - Dr. Evil

"I fear no enemy, for the Khala is my strength. I fear not death, for our strength is eternal." - Fenix

booya

Striker would know where that chinese thing is from =P

------------------
Protoss_King_

[This message has been edited by ProtossKing (edited 05-26-2000).]

[This message has been edited by ProtossKing (edited 05-26-2000).]

RStefan01Posted: 05-26-2000 04:23 AM
Hmm, I added all of them except the ones with the images... I'd rather not have images in the script =)
ProtossKingPosted: 05-26-2000 09:24 AM
it was SUPPOSED to be :) and :(
RStefan01Posted: 05-26-2000 07:37 PM
Ahh, ok =)

They're added too now.

RStefan01Posted: 05-28-2000 01:36 AM
The addition of these quotes shall be blamed on BandWidth:

"I felt this incredible surge of power, like God must feel when he\'s holding a gun."

*pulls pants down* *CENSORED for the good of mankind* - Ravage!

undertowPosted: 05-31-2000 02:49 PM
*pokes forum* - me

also I poked this thread.. let it grooow more! yesss! can't let that "this is not a subject" thread win! no, we mustn't, my precious!

-u

RStefan01Posted: 05-31-2000 05:01 PM
Added =)
kwerkeyPosted: 06-01-2000 09:13 PM
I have something to add onto the pro/con quote, in bold:
"If 'pro is the opposite of 'con', then what's the opposite of 'Congress'?
Yeah? Then what's the opposite of 'constitution'?"

------------------
kwerkey http://www.kwerkey.net
:Reality sucks, welcome to insanity:

ProtossKingPosted: 06-01-2000 10:01 PM
LOL!!!

Prostitution?

------------------
Protoss_King_: Tossy, Masta PK!

RStefan01Posted: 06-01-2000 11:43 PM
lol! added =)
ProtossKingPosted: 06-02-2000 08:54 PM
"I'm crushing your head!!" - Kids in the Hall

ahhh, good ol' KITH.

------------------
Protoss_King_: Tossy, Masta PK!

RStefan01Posted: 06-02-2000 08:59 PM
added =)
RStefan01Posted: 06-04-2000 11:37 AM
"=)" - RStefan01
A.TemplarPosted: 06-04-2000 11:51 AM

TESTING HTML




RStefan01Posted: 06-04-2000 11:17 PM
wtf was that for? If you're testing something, use the preview button.
Xel'NagaPosted: 06-05-2000 01:13 AM
AHAHAHAHAHHA! Just saw the world is not enough.
"I've always wanted to have Christmas in Turkey."

"I thought Christmas only 'comes' once a year"

RStefan01Posted: 06-05-2000 01:23 AM
hehe.. I haven't seen it yet.. who said what?
undertowPosted: 06-05-2000 11:19 AM
I just remembered these, from one of the best Simpsons episodes I've seen

"Elmo knows where you live!" - Elmo
"Save me, Jebus, save me!" - Homer Simpson

dunno if this has been suggested or not hehe

-u

RStefan01Posted: 06-05-2000 02:03 PM
added =)
Protoss_King_Posted: 06-07-2000 05:12 PM
Another simpsons quote; this one is fackin hilarious.

"Let's just say it moved me..... TO A BIGGER HOUSE!!!! Oh crap I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet." - Krusty the Klown

------------------
Protoss_King_: Tossy, Masta PK!

NetRanger[TG]Posted: 06-07-2000 08:12 PM
(Blizzrep99) "Im gonna hafta flag that CD-Key, it has been duplicated. You need to type out the CD-Key and turn it over to me so I can inspect it"

^That was a lame ass quote i got from some lamer tryin to get my d2 key

ZPosted: 06-08-2000 02:50 PM
"Ahhh Leeches!"

"You're the one writing this drivel."

"Bah! Breaking fluid is for the weak!"

------------------
"Apparently there's a reason they put expiration dates on soda cans."

RStefan01Posted: 06-08-2000 02:53 PM
Those all yours? (Just need to know =))
CeegenPosted: 06-08-2000 04:21 PM
"Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Preformance." - Jim Lappin (my dad)

"What can go wrong... WILL go wrong!" -- Murphy's law

"Surrender your beer or we will take it by force!" - ???

"Eye for an eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot." -- Exodus 20:21-22

if we were not crazy, we'd all be insane. - Jimmy Buffet

"there is no spoon..." - Neo, 'The Matrix'

"F- the F-ing F-ers before they F-ing F- you over" - Richard Marcinko

"shit happens." - who does'nt know this one?

"still water runs deep -- an empty wagon makes the most noise -- do you comprehend what the word comprehention means?" - old quotes

"the grass is always greener on the other side." - old quote

"waste not, want not." old quote

"11'th Commandment: Thou shalt NOT piss me off." - Ceegen

"i had a good quote, but forgot it..." - Ceegen

"Kill 'em all 'n let God sort it out" - bumper sticker

"yadda yadda yadda..." - Jerry Sienfield

"The masses are the asses." - Poloticians' saying

"In order to find an equal, an Irishman is forced to talk with God" - Steven, 'Braveheart'

"Nobody is perfect. I'm Nobody. Therefore I'm perfect." - INTRAX

"Don't F- with the union." - mobster, from the movie 'Eraser'

there are some other good ones i had but forgot em =P
-- Ceegen

Protoss_King_Posted: 06-08-2000 04:49 PM
"If you can read this, the bitch fell off!" - Back of a motorbiker's shirt

Hehe got that from some site rich linked me to

Click for full image, folks.
------------------
Protoss_King_: Tossy, Masta PK!

[This message has been edited by Protoss_King_ (edited 06-08-2000).]

SoulTakerPosted: 06-08-2000 05:45 PM
ROFL! The motorbiker quote is hilarious! =)
Eye of the NightPosted: 06-13-2000 05:04 AM
"<-- More naughty parts" - Monthy Python
RStefan01Posted: 06-13-2000 10:26 AM
Allrighty, everything's been added except for Z's quotes, because he never answered my question above.
ZPosted: 06-13-2000 11:15 AM
Oopsies! Forgot about this thread

yep, these are mine

RStefan01Posted: 06-13-2000 11:19 AM
Added =)
StrikerPosted: 06-24-2000 07:07 PM
"This is CNN" - James Earl Jones
BandWidthPosted: 06-24-2000 07:29 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*Stabs CNN*

kwerkeyPosted: 06-25-2000 02:22 AM
"Well if it isn't my good friend (something), with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!" - Dr. Nick, The Simpsons
I'm sure someone in here remembers what the guy's name was, it rhymes with leg, I remember that.
RStefan01Posted: 06-25-2000 09:52 PM
Hmm, I added Striker's quote. Anyone know the missing part to kwerkey's quote?
undertowPosted: 06-25-2000 10:03 PM
I haven't seen that episode for a while but I think it's "Mr. McGregg"

-undertow

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 06-26-2000 12:30 AM
Here are a few from Capt. Kirk that's funny if you take it out of context

"Mr. Spock is much stronger than the ordinary human being, aroused his great physical strength could kill, but it's a risk I have to take"- Capt. Kirk

"It's possible we may have hit the wrong entry point"- Capt. Kirk

"I have to take it back, Inside myself I can't survive without him. I don't want to take him back, he's like an animal, a thoughtless brutal animal"- Capt. Kirk

Eye of the NightPosted: 06-26-2000 05:19 AM
"*****WASTED SPACE*****" - -?-

Protoss_King_Posted: 06-28-2000 10:26 PM
"Sometimes I think that boring ass teacher in my school is just God's way of teaching me geography." - Protoss_King_
StrikerPosted: 06-28-2000 10:57 PM
"Beware deamons, and fowel beasts!" - Barbarian
RStefan01Posted: 06-28-2000 11:14 PM
And we're up to date now. I corrected the spelling in Stiker's quote =p
RStefan01Posted: 06-28-2000 11:18 PM
I also added a quote number listing to the showquotes script =)
kwerkeyPosted: 06-28-2000 11:21 PM
"I 'vill break you!" - Rocky
I think he said that, anyway

------------------
kwerkey http://www.kwerkey.net
:I'm losing my mind and
NOBODY CARES!:

RStefan01Posted: 06-28-2000 11:23 PM
Rocky said "'vill"? hehe
kwerkeyPosted: 07-02-2000 01:03 AM
"Make something idiot-proof and they'll make better idiots"

And the rest are bumberstickers =)
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
All generalizations are false.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
Born free...Taxed to death.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Rehab is for quitters.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt--in case heaven is like the IRS..
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
No radio - Already stolen.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
i souport publik edekashun.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Keep honking...I'm reloading.
Caution: I drive like you do.

[This message has been edited by kwerkey (edited 07-02-2000).]

RStefan01Posted: 07-02-2000 04:18 AM
Hmm, considering that it's four in the morning, I think those'll have to wait until another time =)
DinobotPosted: 07-02-2000 10:26 AM
"If you can read this, you're too close to your monitor"
kwerkeyPosted: 07-02-2000 04:50 PM
I can read it and I'm not too close =P
Font sizes only get as small as -2, no matter what, and I'm on 1024x768, though I can still read it at 1280x1024 (and I'm about 3 feet from the monitor).

------------------
kwerkey http://www.kwerkey.net
:I'm losing my mind and
NOBODY CARES!:

DinobotPosted: 07-03-2000 09:44 PM
It's supposed to be readable, otherwise, what's the point, hehe. Here's three other quotes I can think of:

"I know all -- I am a disembodied mystical voice"

"By reading this binding quote, you hereby agree to pay the webmaster $1,000,000"

"That shade of lipstick makes your mouth look like a gateway to pleasure"

This one's a joke... don't take it seriously.

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 07-03-2000 10:48 PM
"If people aren't so stupid, I wouldn't be so Rich"

"Your end is Near, Heathen! I can smell it"

kwerkeyPosted: 07-04-2000 02:07 AM
All from anonymousesesesss...es..
"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity"
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you"
"Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it."
"A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn"
"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn"
"TJ's Law: You can't fall off the floor"
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society"
RStefan01Posted: 07-04-2000 03:31 AM
Urgh.. soo many quotes. I could add them now.. and help stop them from piling up more and leaving more work for some future time, but that would take away from my Diablo II addiciton.. so I think I'll let the quotes pile up hehehe
DinobotPosted: 07-04-2000 07:30 AM
Hehe, I have a law?
RStefan01Posted: 07-04-2000 02:49 PM
hehe =)
kwerkeyPosted: 07-04-2000 03:31 PM
What's your middle name?
kwerkeyPosted: 07-04-2000 04:06 PM
Out of boredom, I got the quote script up to date for ya'. But I forgot if I should upload it ASCII or Binary, so I did both
Binary
ASCII
RStefan01Posted: 07-04-2000 05:34 PM
hehe.. cool, thanks =)

Everything looks right, except this line was wrong:

quote = new StringArray(337)

See the 337? You had 336 there. That number is the total number of quotes, and in the script it uses 0 as a quote number also hehe =)

RStefan01Posted: 07-04-2000 05:34 PM
Oh, and it doesn't matter if it's ASCII or Binary, it doesn't make a difference for JavaScript.
kwerkeyPosted: 07-04-2000 05:58 PM
Damn, I'm not very good at picking out the apostrophes. After fixing my 5,000 errors in the script, here it is again.
Binary
kwerkeyPosted: 07-13-2000 10:30 PM
More bumper sticker fun:
"If you don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk"
"Watch my ass, not hers"
"I drive this way just to piss you off"
StrikerPosted: 07-16-2000 09:21 PM
what the hell are you guys smoking you crack hippies your poems are a joke if you where in diablo 2 he would kick your ass out of his soil take your soul and put on a corner and sell for some bigger tits and that al i got to say so if you dont like then just say whats up what s up whatsup with that shit

-quote Lord raven never more and incase any of you damm mother fuckerraven pyschoes dont like my message the just say whats up whats up whats up-

{I screwed all your moms} what a work out

[This message has been edited by Striker (edited 07-16-2000).]

BandWidthPosted: 07-16-2000 09:25 PM
?
StrikerPosted: 07-16-2000 10:17 PM
Okay to make things as simple as possible that message was of my friends. I gave him his own account after learning he had posted it. I thought is was funny because of how stupid it was. Maybe it will make for a Fucking Stupid Quote (FSQ) of the forum.

(The Real Striker)
-------------------
Ps. I gave him his own account. Ask BandWidth if you like. I check the ICQ history and my friend is really stupid.

BandWidthPosted: 07-16-2000 10:29 PM
It's true. Durin isn't capable of such speach. This guy was harassing me on ICQ. He's completely nuts!
RStefan01Posted: 07-17-2000 05:14 AM
That's nice, but why's it on this thread?
kwerkeyPosted: 07-19-2000 04:39 PM
"I tend to believe that playing Starcraft is a lot better for a ten year old's mental development than doing repetitive schoolwork. One teaches you to think strategically and react quickly, the other teaches you to stare blindly and do the same thing over and over again in a mind numbing fashion." --Tridus
I liked that
RStefan01Posted: 07-19-2000 04:43 PM
added
StrikerPosted: 07-19-2000 06:16 PM
"These walls are funny. First your hate them, then you get use to them. Enough time passes you get to depend on them."
- Shawshank Redemption
RStefan01Posted: 07-19-2000 07:47 PM
=)
BandWidthPosted: 07-19-2000 11:01 PM
Here's a good Simpsons quote that I don't think is in the quote bank yet (it's a fitting one too):

"Oh Marge, anybody can miss Canada, all tucked away down there." - Homer

OsirisPosted: 07-20-2000 04:07 PM
I noticed the "lottery" quote, and it reminded me of something my Critical Thinking professor always said:

"The lottery is a tax on stupid people"

heeh

kwerkeyPosted: 07-28-2000 12:01 AM
"Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home" --Martha Stewart's Tips for Rednecks
Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 07-29-2000 08:52 PM
"Would the real Slim Shady Please Shut Up" Christina Aguilera
StrikerPosted: 07-29-2000 11:42 PM
did she accually say that?
Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 07-29-2000 11:53 PM
No, But she should have
undertowPosted: 08-15-2000 02:39 PM
"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." - Dan Quayle

-undertow

kwerkeyPosted: 08-15-2000 02:52 PM
"You have the power, you can make ALL your dreams come true" -Richard Simmons
RStefan01Posted: 08-15-2000 04:57 PM
updated =)
kwerkeyPosted: 08-16-2000 12:18 AM
"It looks good on you" -Big Red commercial guy
kwerkeyPosted: 08-25-2000 01:26 AM
"Chaos! Panic! Disaster! (My work here is done)"
kwerkeyPosted: 08-29-2000 12:12 AM
<BEER>Happiness</BEER>

Come on, doesn't anyone else like this thread?

RStefan01Posted: 08-29-2000 02:43 AM
Apparently not, which is too bad. Generally I don't remember about quotes posted on other threads, and they don't make it into the script.
kwerkeyPosted: 08-29-2000 02:48 AM
Oh, okay, I thought you said you were going to lock it or something.
*wipes the sweat from his brow*
VeteranPosted: 08-29-2000 02:11 PM
"Man Who stand on toilet high on POT" - Everybody

------------------
Veteran
--------
[e-mail]Twizler@pot.com[/e-mail]

kwerkeyPosted: 08-29-2000 02:47 PM
Fix yer sig
VilePosted: 08-29-2000 04:39 PM
Why has nobody suggested this hilarious famous quote?

"I took the initiative to invent the internet." -- Al Gore

GAHAHAHAHA!!!

AncientEmPosted: 08-29-2000 05:44 PM
"People Don't want Handouts! They want Handjobs" Former Presidential Candidate
(Didn't realize what he was saying LoL)
"Self Improvement is Masturbation" Tyler Durdon (Fight Club)
"Come in me with the car" My Girlfriend
(Meant to say Come with me in the car)
Hmm..
VeteranPosted: 08-29-2000 08:53 PM
"Any body can hork a loggie but it takes a REAL man to swalow it!" - My Father

Veteran

ABT

kwerkeyPosted: 09-11-2000 09:48 PM
"Never discuss Religion, Politics, or Toast" - Red Dwarf, Better Than Life
AncientEmPosted: 09-12-2000 06:24 PM
Are qoutes still being added?
If so
"Those who throw dirt lose ground" Some Poster
kwerkeyPosted: 09-13-2000 08:45 PM
Come on, don't you people like random quotes?
RStefan01Posted: 09-13-2000 10:19 PM
Updated.
AncientEmPosted: 09-13-2000 11:24 PM
"Cuz if I ever stuck it to anybody in showbiz it'd be Jennifer Lopez, Puffy you know this. I don't care if this chick was my own mother, I'd still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her, and have a no son and a brother at the same time, and just say that it ain't mine" -Eminem
"New Kids on the block suck a lotta dick, boy girl groups make me sick, and I can't wait till I catch all you faggots in public. I'm a love it" -Eminem
RStefan01Posted: 09-13-2000 11:46 PM
Normally I think Eminem is funny, but those quotes were.. kinda dumb? I dunno. I don't feel like adding them. I should probably skim through the file and take some other ones out too, cause I know there's others in there that aren't that great either.
IkanaPosted: 09-14-2000 12:51 AM
I just wonder where the hell you people get these qoutes.
kwerkeyPosted: 09-14-2000 11:31 PM
"Diablo II fans, it's time to stop playing with yourself" --Daily Radar
(a preface to their multiplayer strategy section)
undertowPosted: 09-14-2000 11:39 PM
*looks at the War Room*

that isn't going to happen very soon!

kwerkeyPosted: 09-15-2000 11:43 PM
"Maybe Mario wouldn't constantly be fighting against bloodthirsty turtles and evil oversized plants if he'd just lay off the 'magic mushrooms' for a while..." -Anonymous
Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 09-16-2000 12:20 AM
"You must put the staff into the orifice" Deckard Cain,
Protoss_King_Posted: 09-16-2000 12:50 AM
"Moo" - cow
Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 09-16-2000 01:10 AM
"See ya later, fornicator"
RStefan01Posted: 09-16-2000 01:57 PM
Updated.
RStefan01Posted: 09-17-2000 05:51 PM
*bumps this thread up to the top so that he can tweak the latest posts display on the main page using an abnormally large emote*
DurinBrown16Posted: 09-17-2000 08:15 PM
Durin's list of quotes. Since people want to keep this thread I'll post.

"I just wanted to let you know I'm cRaZy" - cRaZy MoRoN
Hehe that ones a classic

and also
"Durin pulls out a rocket launcher" - Durin

KonyPosted: 09-17-2000 09:35 PM
Ixnay on the ullshitbay.
-Kony
Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 09-18-2000 07:23 PM
Incase of choking, use the Hind-Lick Maneouvre
kwerkeyPosted: 09-18-2000 08:09 PM
I'm assuming that Rich bumped up the post/page ratio, and that's why there's 3 less pages than last time.

"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass" --Bumpersticker (one that's meant to be put on a binder and such, rather than a car)

Saw that one at school =)

RStefan01Posted: 09-19-2000 10:53 AM
Updated.

And yeah, I changed it from 35 to 50 per page. There's a thread somewhere about it.

rRaminrodtPosted: 09-19-2000 03:42 PM
{I have nothing better to do today }

"You came here with Meshif? That old 'tour-guide to the stuipid'!
I'm surprized you made it here in one peice"

-Alkor, Wisest NPC in DII

RStefan01Posted: 09-19-2000 04:05 PM
hehe, that's in the game? lol

*added*

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 09-20-2000 03:52 PM
"I hope you don't object to my Badgering the Witless"

Another quote from Alkor.

kwerkeyPosted: 09-25-2000 01:11 AM
"Ravage: The hottest woman on the net!" -Ravage.com
kwerkeyPosted: 09-25-2000 01:16 AM
*makes quote post 300 and page 7*

"The real problem was Tridus. He refused to get a job, he left his crap all over the place, and worst of all, at one point, he WET HIS PANTS AND THEN PASSED OUT IN THE HALLWAY!" --SM_007

You might want to add in that it was a game of The Sims, so newbies don't see that and ask him about his personal grooming. But it'd be funnier without =)

[This message has been edited by kwerkey (edited 09-25-2000).]

SM_007Posted: 09-25-2000 12:41 PM
DON'T mention that it was a part of The Sims!

It'll be a hilarious inside joke. :)

------------------
SM_007
Riptide Gaming

Ravage!Posted: 09-26-2000 12:24 PM
Save the rainforest! Wipe your ass with a woodpecker!
CraziemanPosted: 10-01-2000 02:03 AM
"Diablo 2 System requirements: Pentium 233, 32 MB RAM. Recommended Athlon 750, 256 MB RAM" - Crazieman

kwerkeyPosted: 10-01-2000 12:18 PM
Found on PlanetTribes.com:

"High End System: 1000 MHz CPU and GeForce 2 GTS/Voodoo 5"

For those that don't get it, of course that's the high end system, that's pretty much the best setup you can buy right now.

llamamanPosted: 10-01-2000 01:44 PM
Hey, I come here a lot, but I usually just read and laugh at some of the more humorous things, anyway, I have a few quotes that I said when with friends, and were very funny when they happened.

"Punching people is not having sex."

"Does your mama drive a semi?"

Someone asked me if I knew what a bossom was and I replied:
"I don't GO to Dairy Queen."

------------------
-llamaman

kwerkeyPosted: 10-01-2000 03:17 PM
Riiiiiight.......
kwerkeyPosted: 10-01-2000 09:16 PM
"Not everyone turns out like their parents. I mean, my parents were honest, hard-working people" -Fry, Futurama
BrawnfirePosted: 10-01-2000 10:03 PM
"Curses, foiled like a common binomial!"
Please use that, it is my personal quote, it would make me oh so happy.
DurinBrown16Posted: 10-01-2000 10:16 PM
"Can I am love to your toothpick?" - Veteran on Drugs
BandWidthPosted: 10-01-2000 10:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Brawnfire:
"Curses, foiled like a common binomial!"
Please use that, it is my personal quote, it would make me oh so happy.

lol!

kwerkeyPosted: 10-01-2000 10:39 PM
*slaps Brawnfire for making a groaner*
BrawnfirePosted: 10-02-2000 03:46 PM
*is slapped, and likes it*
kwerkeyPosted: 10-02-2000 05:49 PM
*doesn't want to know*
DurinBrown16Posted: 10-02-2000 05:55 PM
Then don't ask.

Returning to the REAL topic.

"Different strokes for different folks" - Durin's Math Teacher

BrawnfirePosted: 10-02-2000 06:48 PM
So many ways that can be taken..
Turn your teacher in for sexual harassment, or someone will get hurt.
kwerkeyPosted: 10-02-2000 08:31 PM
"What's wrong with this country? Can't a man walk down the street without being offered a job?" -Smithers, The Simpsons
-=General=-Posted: 10-02-2000 08:51 PM
"New & Improved... Soon" *giggle*
kwerkeyPosted: 10-02-2000 09:20 PM
LOL, I remember that.
kwerkeyPosted: 10-02-2000 09:27 PM
"Notice: Your mouse has been moved. Windows will now restart so this change can take effect." -Darlok (A slashdotter)
kwerkeyPosted: 10-11-2000 08:31 AM
"I'd change the world but God won't give me the source code" -Anonymous
Mr 8]Posted: 10-11-2000 03:49 PM
in the original spirit of this thing;
"let the meat CHEESE!"
kwerkeyPosted: 10-11-2000 03:52 PM
Rrrrriiiiiight....that's the stuff.

"Come wash my back!" -Jackass

That's only funny if you see it, he's naked in a public shower holding his wee-wee.

Mr 8]Posted: 10-11-2000 03:55 PM
*looks at his last post as if it's turned into a dancing snow leopard in a tutu*

uh...lets...try that...again...

"let them eat CHEESE!"

i wonder how that happened before...aw well, i'm just dumb, i guess.

CraziemanPosted: 10-11-2000 04:07 PM
I like the source code one :)
RStefan01Posted: 10-11-2000 04:27 PM
New quotes script, it appears to work fine.
CraziemanPosted: 10-11-2000 04:33 PM
I dunno, so far it seems to be acting the same :P
CraziemanPosted: 10-11-2000 04:34 PM
Never mind, it be workin' now :)
CraziemanPosted: 10-11-2000 04:35 PM
I think the barbarian's quote is wrong.

Shouldn't it be "Beware foul demons and beasts!"

RStefan01Posted: 10-11-2000 05:07 PM
Fixed. That was Durin's quote, possibly even from this thread. Originally "foul" was spelled "fowl" .. gotta watch out for those chicken demons.
kwerkeyPosted: 10-11-2000 05:13 PM
Hey you're right, it is working.

*steals this quote script*

BevyPosted: 10-11-2000 06:42 PM
"die", *thrusts blade into someones chest* "hes dead"

- someone probably said it..........

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 10-11-2000 11:45 PM
"There was no penetration" Buffy


"Ormus is always talking in Riddles, I think he's just trying to hide the fact he has nothing intelligent to say" Alkor the Alchemist.


"Shave yourself!" Izual

CraziemanPosted: 10-12-2000 10:24 AM
There was no penetration, eh?

"I didn't do her! I swear!"

kwerkeyPosted: 10-12-2000 11:01 PM
"Define 'is'" -Bill Clinton

I think he said something along that line, maybe it was "do", or some other small word.

undertowPosted: 10-12-2000 11:16 PM
I'm 90% sure that quote is:

"that depends on what your definition of the word 'is' is"

-ut

kwerkeyPosted: 10-12-2000 11:19 PM
Ahh, that's the one.
kwerkeyPosted: 10-15-2000 01:17 AM
"Backstreet Boys? BACKSTREET Boys?! Now why would you wanna be a Backstreet Boy? OOO! I'm scared of them! Who lives on the front street, Big Bird?" -Chris Rock, VMA 99

"My dad and I wear the same pants" "I invented pants!" -Political Elephant and Donkey, Snickers commercial

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 10-15-2000 09:55 PM
"Boy, I'm gonna make you squeel like a pig" Some line in Deliverance
kwerkeyPosted: 10-15-2000 10:10 PM
"That is one brave purple monster...uh, lady" -Johnny Gomez, Celebrity Deathmatch
kwerkeyPosted: 10-16-2000 11:56 PM
Some The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy quotes =)

"He reached out and pressed an invitingly large red button on a nearby panel. The panel lit up with the words Please do not press this button again. He shook himself."

"'This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.'"

"Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now."

"A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have."

"Don't Panic"

"Forty-two"

"Life, the Universe, and Everything"

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime undoubtedly so."

"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea."

The rest is one quote.

"If you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language... Now it is such a bizarrely improbably coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance... a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.

'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'

'But,' says Man, 'the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. it proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'

'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic."

[This message has been edited by kwerkey (edited 10-16-2000).]

lil bo shepherdPosted: 10-17-2000 08:26 PM
"Let's start a "random quotes" suggestion thread " - Undertow
RStefan01Posted: 10-17-2000 10:03 PM
who's Undertow?
kwerkeyPosted: 10-17-2000 10:57 PM
I dunno, I think he's one of those stupid newbies that keep coming in here =)
Mr 8]Posted: 10-18-2000 12:07 AM
well, SOMEONE'S been reading a bit too much HHGTTG...
lil bo shepherdPosted: 10-18-2000 06:56 PM
sorry, i havent been getting enough sleep
what i meant was undertow.
kwerkeyPosted: 10-19-2000 12:22 AM
Oh yes, how could I have forgotten this one?

"The mice will see you now" -Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

kwerkeyPosted: 10-22-2000 11:50 PM
"Release date: Christmas 1997" -Daikatana
"Release date: 1998" -Diablo II
kwerkeyPosted: 10-24-2000 11:19 PM
From The Resteraunt at the End of the Universe, the follow-up to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

"Put the Scrabble away, Arthur, it won't save the human race, because this lot aren't going to be the human race. The human race is currently sitting around a rock on the other side of this hill making documentaries about themselves." -Ford Prefect

"The ruler of the Universe dozed lightly in his chair. After a while he played with th tpencil and the paper again and was delighted when he discovered how to make a mark with the one on the other. Various noises continued outside, but he didn't know if they were real or not. He then talked to his table for a week to see how it would react."

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 10-24-2000 11:38 PM
"I saw her, right between the clowns and the giant talking hot dog" Angel talking about his sire, Darla
RStefan01Posted: 10-24-2000 11:39 PM

I'll add these sometime =)

SM_007Posted: 10-31-2000 09:56 PM
"Once, I, Protoss_King_, realized that the gorillas' lackluster performance exceeded my eyes, sexually. But, they were eating year-old round cheese that just fell onto my aunt's bum, although they are really poor, which causes them severe hatred towards feminists who are gigantically inclined to dramatically increase their lemon-flavored pudding. When Rich began to go toward the moose, named Eustace, it denied Venereal Disease, and licked Big Z's manly elbow. Then, it excreted hormones into undertow's left bum. Moreso, I have discussed our policy on the rather nasty influence of foul-mouthed communists. Yet, them pretzels ain't too sticky for Tridus, who gots the pretzels in SM_007's nekked, salad-covered elephant. Even today, he touched John's sweaty neck and then Dave ate Tridus' elbow, but without sin-related apples. Boobs make euphoric poker chips! Buddha said, while teaching coeds how to hand-wash boobies, 'My god has died!!!!!' Nevertheless, he still wanted pretzels covered with pudding. The end." - (I dunno, explain how this was a quote from everyone in the forum in our random storee, hehe)

------------------
SM_007
Riptide Gaming

BantorPosted: 10-31-2000 10:48 PM
"Never give up, Never Surrender" - Galaxy Quest
RStefan01Posted: 10-31-2000 10:54 PM
Sorry, you lose. That Galaxy Quest quote is already on the list. Feel free to play again some time.

I'll still get around to adding new quotes sometime =p

BantorPosted: 10-31-2000 11:03 PM
k the ill try
"it doesn't matter it's in the past" - Graffici Lion King
kwerkeyPosted: 11-01-2000 11:55 PM
"The only thing more intimidating to men than women's ability to bleed for five days without dying is the fact that the mechanical sex toy is a staple of women's alone-time sexuality" -Daily Radar

Sorry, just HAD to put that one, though =)

rRaminrodtPosted: 11-02-2000 03:23 PM
No, Professor, don't give up! There were plenty of times in my century when I was going to give up, but I never did, never! Hey, are you even listening to me? Oh, I give up. - Fry, Futurama

Oh, I always feared he would run off like this! Why? WHY? WHY didn't I break his legs? -Professor, Futurama

It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot the one thing: rock crushes scissors. [Suddenly thoughtful] But paper covers rock! And scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum. -Zapp Brannigan

Phillip J. Fry: What if the secret ingredient is... people?
Leela: No, they already have a soda like that: Soylent Cola.
Phillip J. Fry: Oh. How is it?
Leela: It varies from person to person.



Yes I'm bored. I feel like posting stuff.
RStefan01Posted: 11-05-2000 07:08 PM
I updated the quotes in the list. I took out some quotes (around 20) that I didn't like, and from now on I'm only going to add ones that I like. There's 374 quotes in the list right now.
BevyPosted: 11-06-2000 12:14 AM
"a face without a smile is like a day without sunshine, a smile without a face is something that will haunt you for the rest of your days"
ZedPosted: 11-06-2000 12:47 AM
Just a few of my favorites...

"Don't put off until tomorrow what can be avoided altogether."
-Mark Twain

"Guilt, Fear, Mass insanity... Three cheers for Christianity!"

"Dear lord, save me from your followers."

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall down an open manhole cover and die."
-Mel Brooks

"Sex is nobody's business but the three people involved."

"For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened. Small stain."

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 11-06-2000 06:29 AM
As One Quote

"Alien 1: Well I'm sure the Great Leader has his reasons

Alien 2: Well I'm sure the Great Leader's just some sort of twisted AssFreak" Kevin McDonald and Dave Foley of 'Kids in the Hall'

TerminusEstPosted: 11-09-2000 09:11 PM
hmm.. i've read all the qoutes so that means this forum needs some new ones.

"Sure, a bird can soar but atleast a squirrel won't get sucked into a jet engine"

anyway, i didnt make this one up, i got it off of someone, but i didn't see it in the qoutes:
"Guns don't kill people. Kids that play video games kill people"
..might have been in the war room...

mmm here's a qoute from Diablo

"..too many empty graves..." Necromancer, when fighting Blood Raven


[This message has been edited by TerminusEst (edited 11-09-2000).]

SM_007Posted: 11-09-2000 09:57 PM
These are all (real) Napoleon Bonaparte quotes:

"Men are more easily governed through their vices than their virtues."

"Circumstances? I make circumstances!"

"The bullet that will kill me is not yet cast."

"The herd seek out the great, not for their sake, but for their influence; and the great welcome them out of vanity or need."

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."

"Imagination rules the world."

"You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war."

"We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him."

"The word 'impossible' is not in my dictionary."

"The French complain about everything, and always."

(Napoleon was French, of course. Maybe I find this funny 'cause it reminds me of Quebec, hehe.)

"He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat."

"Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go."

"A people which is able to say everything becomes able to do everything."

"Courage is like love; it must have hope to nourish it."

"I reign only through the fear I inspire."

"I should have conquered the world."

Those are my favourites I picked out of a whole bunch.

And now you can pick from those. You have to use the last one, though. :)

------------------
SM_007
Riptide Gaming

TerminusEstPosted: 11-10-2000 12:44 PM
ah i found my Opposing Force booklet.
Murphy's Combat Laws
1. You are not superman.
2. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid
3. Don't look conspicious-it draws fire.
4. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
5. Never share a fox-hole with anyone braver than you are.
6. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder
7. If your attack is going well, it's an ambush.
8. No plan survives the first contact intact.
9. All 5 second grenade fuses burn down in 3 seconds.
10. Try to look unimportant because the bad guys may be low on ammo
11. If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short.
12. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
13. The important things are always simple.
14. The simple things are always hard.
15. The easy way is always mined.
16. If you are short on everything except enemy, you are in combat.
17. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
18. Incoming fire has right of way.
19. Friendly fire isn't.
20. If the enemy is in range-SO ARE YOU!
21. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection
22. Things that must be together to work, usually aren't shipped together
23. Radio's will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
24. Anything you do can get you shot-including doing nothing.
25. Tracers work both ways.
26. The only thing more accurate than incoming fire is incoming friendly fire.
27. Make it tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
28. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
29. When both sides are convinced they are about to lose, they are both right.
30. Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
31. Murphy was a grunt.

"If you see the flash; Duck and Cover!" Fallout Survival Guide

"Look for these other VAULT(tm) titles: 'a thousand and one ways to cook rats' 'how to avoid falling rocks' and more!" Fallout Survival Guide

here's some more

"There is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of others." Niccolo Machiavelli"

"Bonjour. Diablo 2 et il est la buggy piloter jeu. Et est il un petit bit cul. the result of TerminusEst's D+ in french. Translation: Hello. Diablo 2 and it is the buggy to control play. And it is a small bit bottom."

[This message has been edited by TerminusEst (edited 11-10-2000).]

[This message has been edited by TerminusEst (edited 11-10-2000).]

BevyPosted: 11-10-2000 02:21 PM
"just because your paranoid, doesnt mean theyre not after you" - nirvana
TerminusEstPosted: 11-10-2000 06:41 PM
"Nature is a whore" -Nirvana
=p
TerminusEstPosted: 11-11-2000 11:56 PM
Damn RSTEFAN01 doesnt read these anymore.. *cries* WHYY?
Protoss_King_Posted: 11-12-2000 12:37 AM
"Hugs, not drugs" - Tossy
Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 11-12-2000 12:50 AM
"TV Rots your Brain Just like Crack Cocaine" Gavin 'Kids in the Hall'

"Always Put salt in your eyes" Kevin McDonald 'Kids in the Hall'


kwerkeyPosted: 11-12-2000 12:52 AM
"This idiot from 127.0.0.1 keeps pinging me! Help!" -me
WizardSlayerPosted: 11-12-2000 09:43 AM
"I had a good quote ... then I forgot it. Damn." - WizardSlayer

"Oh yeah! Now I remember it!" - WizardSlayer

"I'm crushing your head!" - Kids in the Hall

CeegenPosted: 11-12-2000 08:20 PM
In a game of Counter-Strike someone was talking about raping me (because i had lower ping, but kept owning him repeatedly), so next time I killed him at the begining of next round I said

"I took you by the hips and thrusted vigerously."

kwerkeyPosted: 11-12-2000 08:33 PM
"Certainly you can't put a price on your family's safety?!"
"I wouldn't of thought so either, but here we are."

-Homer

MysteryManPosted: 11-13-2000 09:11 PM
Insurance Agent- What kind of establishment is "Moe's?"
Homer's Brain- Uh-oh, shouldn't tell him I was drinking.
Homer- It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain- Brilliant, I wouldn't have thought of that.

[This message has been edited by MysteryMan (edited 11-14-2000).]

TerminusEstPosted: 11-14-2000 05:31 PM
"I'm looking for a Seymour butts.. come on everybody, i want a Seymour Butts!" -Moe
"I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss. Is there an Amanda Huggenkiss here?" -Moe
"Anita Bath anybody? hello? Anita bath?" -Moe
"I'm looking for Mike Rotch! Everyone put down your beers is there a Mike Rotch in here?" -Moe
"I'm looking for a Hugh Ass? Everyone check the bathrooms, is there a Hugh Ass in here?"
SM_007Posted: 11-14-2000 05:34 PM
Those Moe quotes are screwed up. They are normally funnier because he uses them in a context which makes it sound like he is asking for something he doesn't mean to. :P

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SM_007
Riptide Gaming

MysteryManPosted: 11-14-2000 08:55 PM
You mean like:

Bart: Hello, I'd like to talk to Ivanna. Last name, Tinkle

Moe: Lemme check...Hey, everybody! Ivanna Tinkle! Come on guys, Ivanna Tinkle! Everyone lower your glasses, Ivanna Tinkle!

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 11-14-2000 11:13 PM
Yeah, like I wrote the name "Harry Cox" on all my stuff so no one would steal it or try to claim ownership.
WizardSlayerPosted: 11-18-2000 11:47 AM
This movie, Empire Records, has some great quotes:

"Well damn the man!" - Lucas, Empire Records
"In this life, there are nothing but possibilitys." - Lucas, Empire Records
"What's with today, today?" - Lucas, Empire Records
"Always play with their minds." - Lucas, Empire Records
"Take care of yourself, and don't let the man get you down." - Lucas, Empire Records
"Superb." - Lucas, Empire Records
"In the immortal words of The Doors, 'The time to hesitate is through.'" - Lucas, Empire Records
"Amazing, you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets." - Deb, Empire Records
"You make me feel like a bath?" - A.J., Empire Records.
"What's wrong with you? Your sweating like a pig." "Well it's nice to see you too." - Joe, Empire Records

[This message has been edited by WizardSlayer (edited 11-18-2000).]

WizardSlayerPosted: 11-18-2000 04:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by undertow:
[B]This one's for the pants guy..

"Worldwide Pants" - the name of David Letterman's production company




I just noticed this. (Looking through for quotes for WizDom) and I just wanted to say ... I like it! =)
rRaminrodtPosted: 11-18-2000 04:28 PM
"If you moderate me down, I will post a response more powerful than you can imagine!" - AC
GunslingerPosted: 11-18-2000 05:49 PM
YAY! I have a quote to add.

"You should never never doubt what nobody is sure about" - Willy Wonka

WizardSlayerPosted: 11-18-2000 10:09 PM
You were watching that on TNT right after space balls weren't you?
JeokittyPosted: 11-19-2000 01:29 AM
(Too tired to read through all the quotes, so, I hope this one hasn't been said)

"You may be just one person to the world, but to one person you may be the world."
- Uh... I forget...

Wow.. quoting is bad at 2:30am..

(Yes, I AM still alive! Heh.)

[This message has been edited by Jeokitty (edited 11-19-2000).]

SM_007Posted: 11-20-2000 11:16 PM
Add this one, Rich:

"Oh! Oh! Y'see, the kids have been listenin' to the rap music, which gives them the brain damage. With their bippin' 'n' their boppin' 'n'...they don't know...what the jazz...is all about!" - Bill Cosby, The Simpsons

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SM_007
Riptide Gaming

DurinBrown16Posted: 11-21-2000 12:08 AM
"He was trying to tell me about his feelings. I REALLY WANTED TO PUNCH HIM" - Red (That 70's Show)
SM_007Posted: 11-21-2000 12:11 AM
"Well, Kitty, I don't know. It's just that...sometimes he can be dumb. And he's an ass! It's like he's a... *Beautiful epiphany moment.* ...dumbass!" - Red, That 70's Show

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SM_007
Riptide Gaming

DurinBrown16Posted: 11-21-2000 12:13 AM
"They say I'm little slow, because I'm from Canada ehhhhh?" - Canadian Kid (The Simpsons)
DurinBrown16Posted: 11-21-2000 12:16 AM
"Chances are, if you can't eat it, you probably already have" - Durin Brown
DurinBrown16Posted: 11-21-2000 12:18 AM
"If you can't remember something, perhaps your just use to forgetting about your problems" - Durin Brown
BandWidthPosted: 11-21-2000 12:19 AM
"Aliens and the world's fascination with Aliens is just another device Satan uses like theory of Evolution to turn us away from God." - Shlonglor
DurinBrown16Posted: 11-21-2000 12:19 AM
"If murphy's law couldn't help you, I suggest you read it because murphy doesn't like liers" - Durin Brown
DurinBrown16Posted: 11-21-2000 12:23 AM
*roles dice* "I think I will go with YES" - Inventore of D&D (Futurama)
DurinBrown16Posted: 11-21-2000 12:28 AM
"if you drink something during a movie and its a porno, chances are you are going to have to go the bathroom quickly" - Durin Brown
kwerkeyPosted: 11-21-2000 12:30 AM
I never knew you could drink pornos.

Durin, quit spamming and get a spellchecker.
It's possible to edit your posts, you know.

DurinBrown16Posted: 11-21-2000 12:31 AM
"SNAKES SNAKES THERE EVERYWHERE" - Barney
"You getting ready for wacking day" - Burney
"Whats wacking day?" - The Simpsons
DurinBrown16Posted: 11-21-2000 12:32 AM
"kwerkey shut up or put up" - Durin Brown
SM_007Posted: 11-21-2000 12:34 AM
Durin, here's the real quote from The Simpsons:

"I come from Canada and they think I'm slow, eh?"

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SM_007
Riptide Gaming

DurinBrown16Posted: 11-21-2000 12:36 AM
Yeah I was thinking it was more along thoes words..
Thanks SM

"If you correct me, perhaps I shouldn't hesitate to correct myself. For if you continue to correct me, I have learned nothing" - Durin Brown

kwerkeyPosted: 11-21-2000 12:40 AM
I'd rather not bring the quote thread offtopic, for it has come so far. Our matter shall continute another day, another thread.
DurinBrown16Posted: 11-21-2000 12:42 AM
Yeah well guess what. By posting here with non Quote topics you are throwing it off and my concintration.
DinobotPosted: 11-22-2000 08:10 AM
"Uh-oh..." - Clark Kent when he took off his glasses to wipe them off and everyone recognized he was Superman

*Deletes a post* - Shlonglor

"404 Error" - Promising search result

*Crashes* - Microsoft Windows

*Lags* - Blizzard product

SM_007Posted: 11-23-2000 11:18 PM
"Yeah, we got more gongs than the breakdancing robot that caught on fire..." - Homer Simpson recalling the time he and Barney had been on The Gong Show, The Simpsons

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SM_007
Riptide Gaming

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 11-23-2000 11:42 PM
"Oh Lord, Bless this thy handgrenade, that it may blow thy enemies to tiny bits in your mercy"-Monty Python

A Buffy episode made me think of that quote.

PeEpeRsPosted: 11-24-2000 02:23 PM
"'undefined' is scary as all hell." - PeEpeRs
DinobotPosted: 11-25-2000 06:33 AM
*PLOP! SPLASH!* - #2

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http://www.dinobot.org

TerminusEstPosted: 11-25-2000 09:29 AM
LoL!!! That one's funny. Sadly, RStefan01 doesn't check this thread anymore. however, i'm curious to see how many replies a thread can hold.
Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 11-25-2000 11:51 AM
"Xander: I don't think of anything but sex, wait, 4x4=16, 4x5=20, 4x6=24 naked girls, naked women, naked Buffy


Buffy: Is that all you think about?

Xander: Well..... I have to go.

kwerkeyPosted: 11-25-2000 08:34 PM
"We've put hundreds of people in space. We can talk to people on the other side of the world almost instantely. We've got computers that can do trillions of operations every second. You'd think we'd have something a bit more advanced than a spoon" -kwerkey
RStefan01Posted: 11-25-2000 08:39 PM
So, by my not replying to the thead, you assume that I don't read it?
Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 11-25-2000 09:21 PM
That's why they invented the Spork
kwerkeyPosted: 11-25-2000 09:24 PM
A spork is technologically inferior to the spoon. It's a spoon with holes in the end.

I could take a car and bash holes in the top, you think that makes it better? (okay, bad example)

DISCLAIMER: If you want to flame me, you can't. So HA!

[This message has been edited by kwerkey (edited 11-25-2000).]

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 11-25-2000 11:10 PM
Holes on a car's roof, yeah!

Maybe I'll call it a sunroof.

BrawnfirePosted: 11-25-2000 11:16 PM
Stay away from blistered gonads..
TerminusEstPosted: 11-25-2000 11:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RStefan01:
So, by my not replying to the thead, you assume that I don't read it?

no, by not seeing any of the lately posted suggestions i assume that you do not read it. (or you think they all suck, or you are too lazy. Or you just don't give a rat's ass. lot of possibilities, now that i think about it.)

aanway, here's a buncha one-liners from lotsofjokes.com:
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

I intend to live forever - so far, so good

I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Excuses are like asses everyone's got em and they all stink.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
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There, enough copy and pasting for me.

kwerkeyPosted: 11-25-2000 11:58 PM
You idiot. When you've got a list of quotes that big (none of which are getting in the script anyway), don't double space them.

"Judge not lest ye be judged yourself" -Saying

Rear Admiral DuGallePosted: 11-26-2000 12:05 AM
"Imagine what the world will be like if people lived by those Bumper Sticker quotes, It would be like my Neigbourhood."

© Richard Stefan 1996-2000